


tropicana asshat is typing...

by halfwheeze



Series: Ironhusbands Bingo 2019 (Round 1) [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: But also Rhodey leaves for the military, Homecoming, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark at MIT, M/M, MIT Era, Military Homecoming, it's just MIT-era-y, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 15:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20530121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: Tropicana Asshat: i think it’s very Hurtful of you to give me this nicknameJames “Rhodithan” Rhodes: Oh wig?





	tropicana asshat is typing...

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill!
> 
> Ironhusbands bingo square O1: Pick Up Lines!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

**October 18, 11:37am**

**Tropicana Asshat: ** i think it’s very Hurtful of you to give me this nickname 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Oh wig? 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** i forgot what I made your name and actually that is so fair of you carry on

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I was going to anyway, but thank you. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** You’re a mess and I’m gonna roast you next time I see you. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I don’t know for what yet, but it’s coming. 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** i expect nothing less

**October 18, 2:17pm**

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I didn’t say it in person but boy, 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** What the FUCK are those? 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Some white boy ass jesus sandals. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** The fuck. 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** this is italian man-phobia

**Tropicana Asshat: ** they’re my italian dad birks and i dont deserve this 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** That’s the most white people shit I’ve ever heard. 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** i don’t think salt is a spice in my favor. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** That’s… 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Surprisingly fair. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I’ll allow it. 

**October 19, 12:22pm**

**Tropicana Asshat: ** rhodeybear pls tell me u love me

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I’m narrowing my eyes but also 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I love you very much and appreciate your value in my life. 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** thank you i love you

**Tropicana Asshat: ** howard called :)))

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I will fight him at the slightest implication. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Drop of a hat, Tones. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Do I care if he’s rich? 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Not even a little bit. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I will square up with Howard Stark. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** What’d he do, tho? 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** you know, the usual :)))

**Tropicana Asshat: ** im a disappointment, im a mess, im reckless, blah blah blah :))))))))

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** You have never disappointed me in your life. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I like to joke about you being a mess, but you’re really organised and I benefit from having you in my space. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** And being reckless is relative to the level of danger you have the capacity to deal with. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** You do fine. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** I will fight anyone for you. 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** thanks jimbo 

**Tropicana Asshat: ** ilu

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** Anytime, Tony. 

**James “Rhodithan” Rhodes: ** ilu2. 

**October 21, 2:11am**

**“James “Rhodithan” Rhodes” has changed their name to “Part Time Babysitter” **

**“Part Time Babysitter” has changed “Tropicana Asshat”’s name to “Semilocal Infant” **

**Part Time Babysitter: ** I hate drunk you. For the record. 

**October 21, 10:57am**

**Semilocal Infant: ** i know

**Semilocal Infant: ** im sorry 

**October 24, 9:22pm**

**Semilocal Infant: ** so what are we wearing for halloween rhododendron?

**Part Time Babysitter: ** That might be my least favorite one so far. 

**Semilocal Infant: ** you hate rhododendron more than jimsus christ superstar? 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** I hate you. 

**Semilocal Infant: ** equal parts homophobic and fair 

**October 24, 10:09pm**

**Semilocal Infant: ** ok but what are we wearing for halloween jimmy dean breakfast sandwich 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** Do you have a list somewhere? 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** Is this something I need to look for next time you give me your phone? 

**Semilocal Infant: ** the list is all in my head babey 

**Semilocal Infant: ** H A L L O W E E N 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** We’re going as Danny and Sandy, stupid. 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** You decided that last Christmas. 

**Semilocal Infant: ** oh gay 

**Semilocal Infant: ** we’re so fuckin cute 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** You’re a disaster area. 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** I’m going to bed. 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** Love you. 

**Semilocal Infant: ** whtgrfedfghtfrfgf

**Semilocal Infant: ** love you too 

**October 25, 10:57am**

**Semilocal Infant: ** got out of therapy early

**Semilocal Infant: ** come pick me up? 

**Part Time Babysitter: ** Omw. 

**October 26, 1:13pm**

**“Part Time Babysitter” has changed their name to “Rhodey” **

**“Rhodey” has changed “Semilocal Infant”’s name to “Tones” **

**Rhodey: ** I’ll kill that guy for you. 

**Tones: ** you’re the best friend i’ve ever had

**Rhodey: ** I will cry at the drop of a hat, Tony Stark. 

**Tones: ** i know

**Rhodey: ** You’re the best friend I’ve ever had too. 

**Tones: ** shut your whole mouth 

**Rhodey: ** As opposed to my partial mouth? 

**Tones: ** shut it james jonah jameson

**Rhodey: ** That reporter from New York?? 

**Rhodey: ** I am disgusted, I am revolted, I spend my whole life loving our Lord and Savior Marie Curie. 

**Tones: ** big love for my james rhodes 

**Rhodey: ** Shut up smh. 

**October 28, 3:17am**

**Tones: ** if i were an enzyme 

**Tones: ** i’d be a dna helicase 

**Tones: ** so i could unzip your genes

**Rhodey: ** Anthony. 

**Tones: ** do you have 11 protons? 

**Tones: ** bc you’re sodium fine 

**Rhodey: ** Anthony. 

**Tones: ** are you made of nickel, cerium, arsenic and sulfur?

**Tones: ** bc you've got a NiCe AsS

**Rhodey: ** Tony you’re not even focused in chem. 

**Rhodey: ** You have an 8am. 

**Rhodey: ** Do I need to come over? 

**Tones: ** you don’t haaave to? 

**Rhodey: ** Omw. 

**Tones: ** thanks platypus 

**November 1, 11:14am**

**Tones: ** where’d you go? :(

**Rhodey: ** I’m getting breakfast, Tones. 

**Rhodey: ** Not leaving you. 

**Tones: ** :)

**November 2, 3:14pm**

**Rhodey: ** Bring me back my jacket, ratboy. 

**Tones: ** :)

**Rhodey: ** Tony what is this. 

**Rhodey: ** You can’t just.

**Rhodey: ** Love you. 

**Tones: ** love you too <3 

**Rhodey: ** Thanks for the new jacket, Tones. 

**November 5, 5:16am**

**Tones: ** you can’t go into the military it’s too early 

**Tones: ** you’ll have to be awake right now every single day 

**Rhodey: ** Tony. 

**Tones: ** please? 

**Rhodey: ** Tony. 

**Tones: ** i know

**Rhodey: ** I’ll come back. 

**Tones: ** i know

**November 15, 12:16am**

**Tones: ** i don’t think you have your phone right now 

**Tones: ** in fact i know you don’t 

**Tones: ** i know you won’t reply 

**Tones: ** but i love you rhodey 

**Tones: ** i’ll write a letter tomorrow, i swear 

**Tones: ** just wish you were here 

**Tones: ** nothing is the same when you’re gone 

**Tones: ** i don’t think i’ve ever used my words 

**Tones: ** to say that i’m in love with you 

**Tones: ** i don’t just love you 

**Tones: ** you’re my world, james rhodes 

**Tones: ** and it sucks that you’re not here 

**March 5, 8:02am**

**Rhodey: ** You’re a fucking sap, Anthony Edward Stark. 

**Tones: ** RHODEY!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comment! 
> 
> Prompts and such @primekent on tumblr!


End file.
